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Kids Say the Funniest Things
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One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!" |
| A little boy's prayer: "Dear God, please take care
of my daddy, and my mommy, and my sister, and my brother, and my doggy,
and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything
happens to You, we're all gonna be in a big mess!"
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A woman invited some people to dinner. At the
table, she turned to her six-year old daughter and said, "Would you
like to say the blessing?" The little girl replied, "I
don't know what to say." The mother encouraged her,
"Just say what you hear Mommy say". The little girl
bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all
these people to dinner?"
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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After
the service his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was
amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know
that?" "Easy", the little boy said. "All you have to
do is add it up. Like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4
poorer."
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A four-year-old attempting to pray the Lord's Prayer
prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who
put trash in our baskets."
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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy
suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a
minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made
you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy,
"I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be
more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen."
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a
sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why,
God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things
out?"
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A little boy opened the big, old family Bible with
fascination and looked at the old pages as he turned them.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and
looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that
had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I
found", the boy called out. "What have you found,
dear?" his mother asked. With surprise in the young
boy's face, he answered: "I think this is Adam's suit!"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's
sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and
whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us
go?"
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Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures
of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture,
which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it
was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms.
Terri said. "But who is the fourth person?" "Oh, that's
Pontius-the Pilot.
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A Sunday school teacher found one of her students
making faces at others on the playground. Smiling sweetly, the teacher
said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly
faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up
and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't
warned."
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A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied "I think it's printed on the bottom!" |
| A little boy was overheard praying,
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about
it. I'm having a real good time just like I am."
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| A Sunday School teacher asked her
children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it
necessary for us to be quiet in church?" One
bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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| Remember to hug your child today. Childhood goes by too quickly. Parents, cherish every moment you have and make lots of memories. |
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All of these "funnies" were sent to me through various e-mail sources. Enjoy! |
